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4 Practical Tips For Constructive Arguing With Your Spouse and Partner

There are plenty of benefits to having a partner, but if your relationship is suffering from too many arguments, you may need to make some changes in the way you communicate. Arguing with a partner offers an opportunity to learn and grow together. Taking a constructive approach will help you have a productive argument without damaging your relationship.

Arguments are inevitable in relationships. They can be a healthy way to work through disagreements, but they can also have a negative impact on our self-esteem, mood, and even our health. Here are four tips to argue constructively with your partner:

  1. Remember that it’s not personal. When you’re in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to take each other’s words personally. However, it’s important to remember that each of you is defending your own point of view and reacting as best you can in the situation. Take a step back and try to see the argument from your partner’s perspective.
  2. Tone down personal attacks. It’s easy to lash out when we feel hurt or angry, but name-calling only makes things worse. If you find yourself attacking your partner’s character or values, take a step back and ask yourself whether you’d say the same thing if he or she wasn’t there. If not, consider cutting the comment out of your argument.
  3. Focus on what matters most. You may have strong feelings about every issue raised during an argument, but pick one or two that are most important to you and focus on those issues alone. This will help keep the argument focused and move it toward a resolution instead of spinning off into tangents.
  4. Remember that most arguments aren’t worth fighting over. Some things just aren’t worth arguing about—they’re better left unsaid and forgotten. If your partner is upset about something trivial, let it go and be thankful for what you have. Fighting over every little thing will only increase the amount of negativity in the relationship, which isn’t healthy for either of you.
Mary J. Payne
Mary has over 10 years of experience as a journalist. She loves to travel and write about her experiences, but she also covers topics such as education, career advice and finances.